LAVALIFE PROFILE (2004)

hi guys (too much to assume on the net?)…

i know, with no picture, my “own words” as mandated by bill’s empire* had better be good. so i’m boycotting the formula that begins with “i never imagined…” and ends “i have no credits” (though i didn’t and i don’t). while accepting that online is a valid way to meet — a friend’s boyfriend’s cousin met her now ex-husband this way – i still hope i don’t know you. so, i will gladly show you photos once satisfied that we’re utter strangers, and provided you don’t refer to living women as “angels” (though diner waitresses, with the appropriate tonal quality, can call me angel any day)…

what else? i value an open mind. my x-rays have revealed a good set of kidneys. clichés drive me crazy! i perform at potlucks. I don’t have a tv. morning doesn’t work for me. i’ve won costume contests, once as cupid, once as a (very last minute) spoon. recent best honour: community group with a median age of 79 & median hair colour of bluish-purple, electing me as their vice-president** (but i’ve left them to move to ottawa). i haven’t yet conquered my materialism. my priorities are family, friends, health, integrity, happiness. my nuclear family is lively, large, hilarious, chaotic, tight. compliments i recently received: adorable, an inspiration, wicked dancer, gutsy, smart. criticisms i’ve accumulated: messy, procrastinator, late, perfectionist, indecisive. 

and you? a y-chromosome is a definite bonus. otherwise, i don’t ask much. if pressed, i might say brilliance and beauty? the basics, really. funny is good, but can be replaced with your finding me funny. good grammar appreciated. if you’re a massage therapist, no attributes necessary.


*Bill Gates had MSN, which had Lavalife
**I conveniently withheld: it was the United Ostomy Association- Halifax Chapter,